Was called up for reservist training last week.

1 week of weapons training.

Yep, training to use butter knife, long sabres and long spears.

This is what we do during our training ……

 

 

Nah, i'm trained in conventional weapons.

The ever reliable, battle-tested M16

 

 

Just in case you think I belong to some Rambo unit, crawling in mud, stalking enemies and breaking their necks with our bare hands …. (see below)

 

 

 

You are wrong !!

I belong to a 200-man MASH (mobile army support hospital).

We are a medical unit that saves lives of injured soldiers.

You remember the American sitcom in the 70's.

Ya lah, like that lah.

 

 

 

What's my role in army?

I'm the MASH deputy company sergeant major (CSM).

What's that?

Well, I assist the CSM who bao-kar-liao.

Hence I have to deal with officers to the medics to the drivers.

Si peh siong……

 

I look forward to my reservist stint.

Reasons are simple.

1.  It's a good break from work (army no need to use brain one)

2. I get to meet some old talk cock friends.

 

How i wish i could share with you what happens during trainings.

But for fear of being labeled a threat to national security, I'll have to talk about non-sensitive things.

 

Well, here goes.

The start of my "reservist" army daze series

 

My army friends come from a diverse cross section of society.

From businessmen, lawyers to imams to mechanics to ah longs.

Once we don our army uniform, an amazing transformation takes place.

We lose our statuses in our highly stratified society, become tardy, extremely foul mouthed and are able doze off at every opportunity.

 

Meepok: "Ah Peng! Ah Peng!  Where are FXXX are you? I need you to help the guys at the medical station ….."

 

I looked around and saw in the distant a lifeless form lying on the ground !!!

 

Meepok, rushing forward: "Ah Peng! What happened? Are you ok? Die already or not?"

 

As I approached, I heard zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………. Snoring !

Ah Peng was fast asleep on the hard ground.

The army uniform has magical powers.

They make the concrete floors feel like Dunlop mattresses.

 

Check out Ah Peng's exposed girth (below).

He belly is threatening to rip apart his uniform.

Ah Peng was 30kgs lighter during our last in-camp training 2 years ago.    

Introducing Ah Peng of the SAF ….Sleep And Fatten.

 

(I have to block out his facial features and name tag. Sekali SAF send him to military jail !)

 

Anyway, I managed to wake Ah Peng up.

We carried him and ramped him against the nearest coconut tree, legs wide open.

Nah … just kidding ... that would be too cruel.

I asked an Ah Kua in my platoon to kiss him.

 

More to follow ….