Please see attached story
With a community and gian-png spirit like this, how can we possibly lose out to the best of global talents in Singapore or anywhere in the world ???  :-)
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There once was a very good old barber in New York.

One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am  sorry. I cannot accept money from you.  I am doing community service."

The Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning the barber goes to open his shop; there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Singaporean software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut.   But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."

The Singaporean software engineer is happy and leaves.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there...

A dozen Singaporeans are waiting for a free haircut!

"Hi, my name is Otard Tan, nice to meechew".

Wouldn't such an intro cause you to sit up and say, "Hah?". 

Otard, what kind of name is that? Isn't that the name of a brand of hard liquor?

Fancy meeting Hennesy Lim Chew Kwee in a bar.

Anything also can 

Parents have chosen to name their kids after hotels (Ritz, Regency), footballers (Owen, Beckham), musical instruments (piano, organ), chemical entities (proton, electron), food (noodle, mango, prata, soya), famous brands (Canon, Sony)and other outlandish names.

Crazy as it may seem, this whacko mentality is ACTUALLY catching on.

 

Million Watt Personality (not!) 

My A-level chief invigilator was called Atomic Leow. I thought it was a joke when my teacher mentioned his name.  There is absolutely nothing electric about his personality. He was one of the driest and most boring invigilators I've come across. I guess he was just doing his job.  Trust me, he's damn good at it.

Kannnot Spel 

Seemingly misspelt names are in vogue too. Janifer, Elison, Netashar, Ehdrian..... you name it, they've misspelt it. Their Engrand not too good leh.

Don't sabo your children 

Parents, please spare a thought for your children when you name them.  Check to make sure the name sounds right in English, Mandarin (and its dialects) Malay, etc.  Else your kids will be the butt of others' jokes. Some names that come to mind are Nina Boo, Nina Beh, Tay Su Su, Tay Peng, Loo Poo Kee.  I have a friend who has a meaningful Chinese name bai3 sheng4 (hundred victories).  His English name is Bai Seng.  The unfortunate thing: his surname is Chee.

Common sense must prevail 

When I have kids of my own, I'll stick to conventional biblical Christian names: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Dinah, Sarah.  (For gals, names like Delilah and Bathsheba are out).  Yes, these are boring but I can be sure my kids won't grow up hating me.

 

Will you name your child Dracula, Toyota or ipod?

Chio boh?

 

"Singapore Girl, you're a great way to fly"

Ah…. The SQ gal….

Epitome of sophistication, grace and good Engrish.

To tourists, they are more symbolic than our vomiting lion-fish.

(Now the sick lion-fish will face the Integrated resort ….. no wonder the gahmen last time say shifting it  to its present location will bring in good luck and wealth ….. prophetic statement huh?) …. I digress.

Despite the fact that SQ discriminates against Singaporeans and pander up to Ang Mohs, I fly SQ for its connectivity and its Kris World System.

In recent years, the standard of SQ gals has dropped drastically.

Most of them will barely beat the Duchess of Cornwall in a beauty contest.

To make matters worse, they are short … can't even reach the overhead cabin.

Want to help me with my luggage …. Please lah…..you're better off auditioning for Snow White and the 7 dwarves..... oh! by the way, Snow White's role is taken.

Yes, I'm Mee Pok "Ta Ta Young" …. Bitchy!!

 

 

Maybe, just maybe …..

Remember my friend CB (Chio Bu)?

Well, a shorty SQ gal insisted on helping CB load her luggage when CB is 1.70m tall.

There was a tussle, and CB accidentally elbowed SQ gal in her assets.

Not sure if CB is trying to lessen her guilt after injuring dwarfy, but CB said the SQ gal (although short) is pretty and has great assets upfront and back.

As an afterthought CB thinks it's only good back assets that remain after she elbowed dwarfy very hard in front :-)

Based on CB's comments, there may be hope for Singapore Airlines stockholders after all.

There are enough lecherous Ang Mohs who can't tell the diff between Asian beauty and the Asian beast to fill the SQ seats (there's hope for SPGs too).

 

 

When wings are clipped….

I've always wondered what happens to Singapore Airline stewardesses after they are past 35 or can't fit into the sarong kebaya, whichever happens earlier.

Some of them become insurance agents, PROs in hotels, receptionists in high end furniture and household appliances shops (there is one along Penang Road).

Where do the rest go? 

 

True files

Below is a true story, related by my colleague (let's call him Robbie):

Robbie was tasked to hire a secretary when he was in his previous company.

The HR manager, a man, asked him to interview an ex-SQ gal.

Robbie: "Do you know how to take short hand?"

SQ: "Donch know."

Robbie: "Do you know how to use word processor?"

SQ: "Donch know."

Robbie: "Do you know how to use computer?"

SQ: "Donch know."

Robbie: "You don't know shorthand, word processing and how to use a computer.  What are you here for?"

SQ: "Be a secretary lor."

 

 

Parting shot

Robbie thinks SQ is better off interviewing for the job of a laptop.

(sorry lah …. This is sexist but velly funny leh).

 

I sent this to Straits Times forum last night.

 

Entering the dark side …..

I met a pastor in charge of an outreach centre in Geylang during my lunch break on Tues.

(My kakis and I are exploring options to fund and assist in these activities).

Let's call the pastor MOG (Man of God)

MOG deals with ex-prisoners, drug addicts, prostitutes, the elderly sick, the debt-ridden etc.

An extremely prevalent issue is, of course, money problem (the lack of it).

In a moment of folly, greed or desperation, some people (95% of them are men) turn to loan sharks.

Once they cross to the DARK side, most of them cannot turn back.

They've stepped into an abyss of misery.

 

True files

Here's a recent LS case:

Beng borrowed $8,500 from ah longs / loansharks (LS) in Jan 2004 to fund some (silly) biz enterprise.

He borrowed another $8,500 2 months later.

Beng managed to repay the first $8,500 + interest in full.

However, he only managed to pay $3,500 for the 2^nd loan.

The last payment made was in Aug 04 (outstanding principal amount : $5,000) when he ran into further financial distress when the biz failed.

He has problems putting food on the table since..

The LS are now after him, seeking repayment a whopping $30,000 !

How the loan ballooned to this amount is beyond comprehension

(maybe all the LS never go school, so Macs no good)

Wife and kids are now suffering because of Beng's folly and greed.

 

Light at the end of the tunnel

What MOG and his team (which includes ex-loan sharks) is doing is to negotiate with the LS to settle for principal repayment and let the family off.

At the same time, they will ensure that Beng is gainfully employed in order to repay his debt and help provide groceries and daily necessities (for the sake of the wife and kids) if needed.

They will also ensure that the education of his children is not compromised.

 

 

Paying it forward

Some may say that Beng is getting his just deserts.

Maybe that's true for Beng but his wife and kids are innocent parties to his silly transaction with LS.

MOG is giving  Beng and his family one more chance to restore things to normality.

It is my prayer that this ONE HOPE offered by MOG and his team in Beng's darkest hour will make him realize that there is a God that looks after him and this world isn't that cruel after all.

There are people who care about his predicament and he should not stuff up his life, much less his family's.

And hopefully, he'll sober up enough to pay it forward (maybe by joining MOG's anti-LS team)

Money, money, money 

What would you do if your nett worth is S$500 million?

Let's assume half is available for investments in financial instruments yielding an average of 5% per annum.

Passive income is $12.5 million a year, $1 mil a month, $33,000 a day.

These numbers are simply mind boggling.

 

Can too much money be the root cause of wayward and irrational behaviour?

This doesn't seem too far fetched when we read reports of superstar footballers (salary @ $100k/week) and their extravagant and often haywire lifestyles.

Booze, drugs, sex, …. (actually… it's starting to sound not too bad J)

 

My Fanta$y

Imagine walking into Mercedes showroom in your t-shirt, shorts, slippers and a small NTUC plastic bag.

I'm sure that will draw disapproving stares from the often snooty and status conscious Merc salespeople.

After the formalities (if they entertain you at all), the sales person will ask how you'd like to pay.

Wouldn't it be great to say: "Lim Peh heng3 cash." And reveal the $250k in the NTUC plastic bag?

I call this the RB25 scenario.

25 $10,000 notes bound by a Rubber Band.

A RB 100 scenario will play out in a condo showflat.

Shiok right?

At present, I struggle to execute RB1 ….. you'd be wondering why would one need to use a rubber band for one $10k note J

 

My reality

I get a lot of thrill giving myself cheap treats now and then.

From a can of Pringles, books, CDs, wine, ties to pots and pans.

 (I used to like to buy pots and pans even though we cook once a month.  I have a strange affinity for Teflon coated pans).

For each item, I'll haggle like hell, if the shop permits …. Yes, I'm a kiam3 ka1 nah4 (read: frugal)

I'd imagine if I had all the money in the world, I will not enjoy and appreciate these seemingly cheap stuff.

At a snap of a finger, I can afford to buy gadgets / cars/ watches of every make and colour.

I do not need to assess specs, compare prices, threaten the salesman I'll burn the shop in order to get the best deal.

Where then is the fun?

 

The best things in life are free.

As Singaporeans, I feel we're too caught up in the rat race and are too materialistic.

Cliché as it may sound, the best things in life are actually free.

A phone call from a long lost friend (if he is not calling to borrow money)

A pat on the shoulder from your buddy telling you "Great job, well done".

Whopping your friends ass in an X-box game.

A smile from the pretty gal you meet at the bus stop each morning (make sure your wife is not standing behind you).

A thank you from a person whom you've been helping reintegrate back to society after his release from prison.

A hug from a loved one.

A gift from the heart

Go on, give someone a precious gift today.

Don't look in your wallet.

Start looking into your heart.