Hello..... hello.... ???

is anyone out there?


It's been a while since I last used this blogsite.
Just wondering if you guys still have this tagged.

By the way, Stanchart organises a 42km marathon in Dec
SAF has a 21km run in Sept (called the SAFRA bay run).
The Singapore police force and prison service should organise one too.

MS biathalon.
15 km jungle trek starting in Bukit Timah followed by a 1.1km swim ending in Skudai, JB.
MS not Morgan Stanley.
Mas Selamat lah......

Dear friends, fellow prison inmates, enemies and spies,

Meepoktah Blogsite has moved to another URL.

As I'd like to keep the new blogsite "secret" and separate from the current one, can you please leave your email address or blogsite address in the comment box below and I'll forward you the new URL.

Kum sia !

I look forward to welcoming you to my new blogsite.

Cheers,

MPTMH

Hi all .........

Meepoktah blogsite will be re-locating to another URL.

Details to follow........

MPTMH

I interrupt the Army Daze series because a ST article on 25^th Sept made my blood boil.

Title: "High ERP rates fail to ease CTE jams".

Of course lah !

Use 1/2 a backside to think, you'd already be able to figure that out.

LTA released so many COEs in the past year ….. how is it possible for roads not be to congested ??

Na beh.

As a motorist, I pay particular attention to LTA policies.

The rationales behind LTA decisions in recent times have been questionable.

The enforcement and execution of policies lagi worse …. The dumps, to be exact.

I write to ST Forum regularly to highlight and, sometimes, offer solutions to tackle transportation issues.

Below is the latest one I wrote.

Si Peh TL man.

LTA needs to review measures to ease traffic congestions

I refer to ST's article "High ERP rates fail to ease CTE jams" dated 25^th September 2006.

ST Forum published my letter "More gantries with more cars on the road" on XX^th XXXX 2005.  In that letter, I expressed my disenchantment of how LTA is mis-managing the COE system by not restricting but increasing the number of cars on the roads.  LTA responded with a series of non-committal statements that did not address the congestion issue.  A year has passed and it is evident that having more ERP gantries and raising ERP rates is not the solution to our traffic congestion woes. 

ERP is a means to address a symptom of a problem.  The problem is, even the LTA spokesperson agreed in the September 25^th 2006 article, there has been a surge in the number of cars on the roads.  My question to LTA, again, is how does LTA propose to ease congestion by making the COE system work effectively (to regulate the number of cars on the roads) without the ERP system?

Meepok Tah Mai Hiam

WARNING: This entry is laced with expletives to reflect the true feel of reservist conversations.  Minors should not read it, much less try it at home.

Note: Those of you who do not know what the abbreviations mean, drop me a separate note to clarify.

We were randomly assigned into groups of 6 for our marksmanship (shooting) test for day and night shoots from 100m.

There were 2 types of targets: man sized (big) and 1/3 man size (small)

There were no individual scores.

The total score for the group determines whether it passed or failed.

My group has good shooters, mediocre shooter and bobo-shooters (those who can shoot an overweight elephant from 5m).

We marginally passed our day shoot 70%.

3 of us shot > 90% and 3 were absolutely bobos.

We gathered after the shoot before our results were announced.

Meepok: "i think i got 14 out of 15. na beh. missed a perfect score."

Chee (the storeman who was a bobo): "na beh. si peh lucky. i managed to get one shot out of 15."

Bobo2 (lawyer, in Queen's English accent): "Good Lord and Na beh. i fired all 15 rounds. but i shot the target in the wrong lane."

Our strategy became clear.

The bobos were to take the lanes with the easiest targets for the night shoot."

When it was time for the night shoot, we were pretty confident that our new bobo-proof lineup would work.

The range was pitch dark, save the targets which were barely illuminated..

I took aim and realised we were in deep shit.

I couldn't see the target.

Took five shots and landed one.

Meepok: "Section! NBCB! I can't see the LC moving target! "

Chee, the storeman: "ah? the target come out already meh?"

Meepok: "Fxxx you lah! 5 came out already lah. 3 big ones and 2 small ones."

All 6 of us each had 10 more bullets (with 60 targets left) and we needed to hit another 20 targets to pass. 

The rate we were going, we'd be lucky to get 5.

Bobo2 (a lawyer, in a queen's english accent): "Meepok! By jove !! i really can't see the KNN LC small target much less Fxxking shoot it."

Meepok: "Ok, Men! most of you can see the nah beh big target right?"

Men: "agak agak can lah..."

Meepok: " agak can liao. Fxxk the small target. use all your CB bullets on big targets only. make sure u hit all the big ones.  BoBos, when pple fire, you also point forward and fire. maybe with some luck, you'll fxxking hit something."

Bobo3 (a taxi driver): "Meepok, the conducting officer never asked us to shoot only big targets leh."

Meepok: "na beh CB, the conducting officer also never ask you to miss all your shots so far! If you want to pass and go back camp early to sleep, you better do as I say! Nah beh!!!"

Bobo3: "Yes, Meepok!"

Meepok: "any more questions?"

Bobo2: "Why SAF women so ugly ah?"

I threw my weapon at him and the rest of the men kicked him in the balls.

Meepok: "anymore questions?"

Men: "no, meepok!"

Bobo2 (in high pitched voice, holding his crotch): "no..... nooohhh"

Meepok: "Ok! let's roll and get at least 30 motherfxxking target so we can pass and go back fast. Good luck guys."

We stuck to our new strategy and managed to hit 35 out of 60 targets.

Apparently, the bobos managed to get 5 of the small targets without aiming.

Our lucky stars were indeed shining.

We passed.

This again proves that SAF reservists are thinking soldiers.

We adapt and react quickly to adverse situations.

It is also worthwhile to note that , we communicated effectively, concisely, sometimes violently, albeit cress and vulgar at times (an understatement).

Enemies, you should be afraid. Very afraid.....

I'm always amazed by the mismatch of army and civilian roles and responsibilities.

One of my men is called Jimmy.

Jimmy is a grossly overweight (135kg) 40 year old who drives to camp in a mercedes 500.

He owns his own company and runs a pretty profitable biz.

His last declared income to the tax authorities (IRAS) was $600k.

Jimmy's role in my military unit?

Mini truck driver.

I'm surprised he gets called up.

The army must compensate his loss of income during the in camp.

1 Jimmy = 20 ah beng reservist drivers.

I question the logic behind this decision.

However, i don't mind having Jimmy as my unit driver.

He is humble, funny and affable, despite being a multi, multi millionaire.

When the going gets tough in the field/jungle, one phone call from Jimmy to his kar kia (staff) will ensure that a kfc laden jaguar or bmw is sent to our deployment location to 'reinforce our stomach's defense'.

Here are some of the other mismatches in my unit (red = army role)

Investment banker - signaler

Graphic / fashion designer - rifleman

SGX trader - driver

Lawyer - demolition man

Chef – unit clerk

Insurance manager - sentry (half awake one, I must admit)

Recently, I was allocated a new storeman, Chee

No, we don't run NTUC supermarket during our reservist.

Chee's the guy who keeps track of our training equipment and ensures their security.

Meepok: "Chee, good job on the combat exercise. You did a great job supporting the men with the equipment. Couldn't have done it without you."

Chee: "Eh, tankew you (ie. xiexie ni) don't like that say. i just doing my job. Brudder brudder, must help each other."

Meepok: "Steady lah. you si peh on! Hey, By the way, what you do outside ah?."

Chee: "Wah lau Meepok! Storeman lah! What else?"

Ah, sometimes SAF does get it right after all.

Was called up for reservist training last week.

1 week of weapons training.

Yep, training to use butter knife, long sabres and long spears.

This is what we do during our training ……

Nah, i'm trained in conventional weapons.

The ever reliable, battle-tested M16

Just in case you think I belong to some Rambo unit, crawling in mud, stalking enemies and breaking their necks with our bare hands …. (see below)

You are wrong !!

I belong to a 200-man MASH (mobile army support hospital).

We are a medical unit that saves lives of injured soldiers.

You remember the American sitcom in the 70's.

Ya lah, like that lah.

What's my role in army?

I'm the MASH deputy company sergeant major (CSM).

What's that?

Well, I assist the CSM who bao-kar-liao.

Hence I have to deal with officers to the medics to the drivers.

Si peh siong……

I look forward to my reservist stint.

Reasons are simple.

1.  It's a good break from work (army no need to use brain one)

2. I get to meet some old talk cock friends.

How i wish i could share with you what happens during trainings.

But for fear of being labeled a threat to national security, I'll have to talk about non-sensitive things.

Well, here goes.

The start of my "reservist" army daze series

My army friends come from a diverse cross section of society.

From businessmen, lawyers to imams to mechanics to ah longs.

Once we don our army uniform, an amazing transformation takes place.

We lose our statuses in our highly stratified society, become tardy, extremely foul mouthed and are able doze off at every opportunity.

Meepok: "Ah Peng! Ah Peng!  Where are FXXX are you? I need you to help the guys at the medical station ….."

I looked around and saw in the distant a lifeless form lying on the ground !!!

Meepok, rushing forward: "Ah Peng! What happened? Are you ok? Die already or not?"

As I approached, I heard zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………. Snoring !

Ah Peng was fast asleep on the hard ground.

The army uniform has magical powers.

They make the concrete floors feel like Dunlop mattresses.

(I have to block out his facial features and name tag. Sekali SAF send him to military jail !)

Anyway, I managed to wake Ah Peng up.

We carried him and ramped him against the nearest coconut tree, legs wide open.

Nah … just kidding ... that would be too cruel.

I asked an Ah Kua in my platoon to kiss him.

More to follow ….